The fact that so many of us just "keep playing along" is the exact reason why recognizing this is so crucial.
And you have completely nailed the core of the letter: "connect inside before connecting outside." This is the only way you begin shifting from an unconscious pattern to an intentional response.
Curious if you've noticed it too. I've noticed it in one person I knew very well, including who he studied... not sure if I'd be able to see it otherwise.
In a conversation, I recognized he was expressing opinions of those whose opinions he respected. He didn't say it's this and that person's work. He made it sound like his thoughts on the subject. And he'd always speak it with drive and confidence.
The effect was the same as you mentioned - it made him appear as someone who has good observations, insights, philosophy, but it wasn't his own.
Reminds me of the bar scene from the movie "Good Will Hunting." (Highly recommended movie by the way.) It had a profound effect on me. I might have done it here and there once in a while, you know, pawning someone else's take as my own. But never did after I watched that movie.
It's a kind of Mask. And it eventually reaches a level of friction that makes it difficult to sustain.
So when in doubt about which image to portray, which mask to wear, always choose to be authentic. It's the easiest, sustainable choice of them all.
Your letter articulates the identity debt aptly, Nik
Most of us have been there, many don’t realise even and keep playing along. Loved the advice to connect inside before connecting outside.
Thank you for putting it so perfectly, Pratiksha!
The fact that so many of us just "keep playing along" is the exact reason why recognizing this is so crucial.
And you have completely nailed the core of the letter: "connect inside before connecting outside." This is the only way you begin shifting from an unconscious pattern to an intentional response.
Thank you so much!
Curious if you've noticed it too. I've noticed it in one person I knew very well, including who he studied... not sure if I'd be able to see it otherwise.
In a conversation, I recognized he was expressing opinions of those whose opinions he respected. He didn't say it's this and that person's work. He made it sound like his thoughts on the subject. And he'd always speak it with drive and confidence.
The effect was the same as you mentioned - it made him appear as someone who has good observations, insights, philosophy, but it wasn't his own.
Reminds me of the bar scene from the movie "Good Will Hunting." (Highly recommended movie by the way.) It had a profound effect on me. I might have done it here and there once in a while, you know, pawning someone else's take as my own. But never did after I watched that movie.
It's a kind of Mask. And it eventually reaches a level of friction that makes it difficult to sustain.
So when in doubt about which image to portray, which mask to wear, always choose to be authentic. It's the easiest, sustainable choice of them all.
It feels the best. Also means you need to be truly OK about not knowing everything and not pretending you do. Then it's peace.
Indeed. Being truly OK with not knowing and not pretending to know comes with its own flavor of peace.